3:03 AM

Pirate Monkeyness

Pirate Movie Reviews


Pirates of the Carribean - The Curse of the Black Pearl

I had my reservations about a movie based on a theme-park ride, and if I was writing about The Haunted Mansion, I'd be in the right. But I'm writing about Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl and boy, oh boy is it a great movie. Since you are at this site, you must like pirates. If you like pirates, you've seen this movie and know what I'm talking about. There's not a whole lot I can say. Or is there?

I would just like to point out that not only is it one of the best pirate movies ever, but it also has zombies, pirate zombies. And on top of that, it is based of a theme-park ride that has pirate robots (animatronics). Pirates, zombies, and robots. If they could just throw in some dinosaurs, it would be the ultimate movie of all time! But wait, isn't there a kraken in the second movie. That comes pretty close to being a dinosaur.

What to drink?

You have some choices while watching this one. If you're feeling like a pirate zombie, you might go with a classic red wine, like Captain Barbossa drinks. If you are more of a drunk or crazy pirate, like Mr. Gibbs or Captain Jack Sparrow, then go for straight rum.

What to eat?


Parents Guide

This movie does have a lot of fighting, but most of it is not gruesome. There are a few parts that stuck out to me that I did not want my children to see. I wouldn't have taken them to the theater -- that would have been asking for trouble -- so we watched it on DVD and I skipped these parts. Well... I missed the first one.
  • When the pirates attack Port Royale at the beginning, there is lots of chaos and chasing of people. In the midst of this, you see a child crying, standing in the midst of it all, obviously lost and scared. This caught me off guard, as it struck a chord with my children. The child is quickly swept up by his mother, making it a instantly alright, but it was a memorable moment to my children. If I had been expecting it, I would have at least prepped them before getting to the scene by saying, "Don't worry about the little boy. His mommy is right there." Knowing what's coming for minor things seems to make all the difference.
  • Shortly thereafter, the butler answers the door to the governors mansion and is shot in the head. There is no blood or gore, but the scene is dramatic and the idea of it seemed brutal. I just didn't want them to see this.
  • The entire scene of Elizabeth Swann learning the pirates are undead is a pretty scary sequence. She screams a lot and appears very frightened while being chased by skeletons. I could see this coming back in nightmares. This was too much to show them the first time. Once they got the idea they were skeletons and knew that Elizabeth Swann was the kind of girl who can take care of herself, I let them see it. The whole scene is funny to them now, instead of what would have happened if they hadn't known what to expect.
  • After that, the skeletons aren't as scary and the fighting is less traumatic. There were still parts I prepped them for, but nothing else stood out as much as those first three.